The Four Agreements: Part 32

Good day friends,

Over the next few months, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions – Part 6

“Often when you go into a relationship with someone you like, you have to justify why you like that person. You only see what you want to see and you deny there are things you don’t like about that person. You lie to yourself just to make yourself right. Then you make assumptions, and one of the assumptions is. “My love will change this person.” But it is not true. Your love will not change anybody. If others change, it’s because they want to change, not because you can change them. Then something happens between the two of you, and get hurt. Suddenly you see what you didn’t want to see before, only now it is amplified by your emotional poison. Now you have to justify your emotional pain and blame them for your choices.

We don’t need to justify love; it is there or not there. Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them, this means we don’t really like them. Of course, if you decide to live with someone, if you make that agreement, it is always better to make that agreement with someone who is exactly the way you want him or her to be. Find someone whom you don’t have the change at all. It is much easier to find someone who is already the way you want him or her to be, instead of trying to to change that person. Also that person must love you just the way you are, so he or she doesn’t have to change you at all. If others feel they have to change you, that means they really don’t love you just the way you are. So why be with someone if you’re not the way he or she wants you to be?”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

WE MUST STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES!

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 31

Good day friends,

Over the next few months, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions – Part 5

“We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works.

We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflict. “I think I am able to do this.” You make this assumption, for instance, then you discover you aren’t able to do it. You overestimate or underestimate yourself because you haven’t taken the time to ask yourself questions and to answer them. Perhaps you need to gather more facts about a particular situation. Or maybe you need to stop lying to yourself about what you truly want.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

WE MUST STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS!!!!

This is so true. I for one is guilty of thinking others think and see life like me and then I am disappointed when I realize that they have their own way.

I overestimate and underestimate myself regularly. I am always up to try something new even if I haven’t done it before. Sometimes you get it right and your self-esteem get a boost, other times it is one massive failure and when you fail you start blaming yourself for even trying… I have learned that I have to ask myself a few questions before I say yes to a challenge.

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 30

Good day friends,

Over the next few months, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions – Part 4

“It is very interesting how the human mind works. We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe. We have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things that the reasoning mind cannot explain. It is not important if the answer is correct; just the answer itself makes us feel safe. This is why we make assumptions.

If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something we don’t understand, we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.

These assumptions are made so fast and unconsciously most of the time because we have agreements to communicate this way. We have agreed that it is not safe to ask questions; we have agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel. When we believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that it will destroy relationships in order to defend our position.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

I don’t know about you, but this sounds a lot like me. I always think that the people who loves me know what I am thinking and then I get mad if they don’t. We do not communicate anymore. The same with texting. You imagine the “tone” in which the other person says it and you are immediately on your high horse. All the time your partner or the other person did not mean anything by it. It is you making assumptions of how the other person is feeling and reacting….

WE MUST STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS!!!!

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 29

Good day friends,

Over the next few weeks, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions – Part 3

“Making assumptions in our relationships is really asking for problems. Often we make the assumption that our partners know what we think and that w don’t have to say what we want. We assume they are going to do what we want, because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we assume they should do, we feel so hurt and say, “You should have known.”

Another example: You decide to get married, and you make the assumption that your partner sees marriage the same way you do. Then you live together and you find out this is not true. This creates a lot of conflict, but you still don’t try to clarify your feelings about marriage. The husband comes home from work and the wife is mad, and the husband doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because the wife made an assumption. Without telling him what she wants, she makes an assumption that he knows her so well, that he knows what she wants, as if he can read her mind. She gets so upset because he fails to meet her expectations. Making assumptions in relationships leads to a lot of fights, a lot of difficulties, a lot of misunderstandings with people we supposedly love.

In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we want. They are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt and think, “How could you do that? You should know.” Again we make the assumption that the other person knows what we want. A whole drama is created because we make this assumption and then put more assumptions on top of it.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Oh my word today’s piece really hits the nail on the head. I assumed my partner knew what I want out of the relationship, I got hurt, felt rejected and not important to him. I bought The Four Agreements and when I read this part I decided to put my list of what I need to make the relationship work on paper for my partner.

If you tell your partner what you want out of your relationship it makes things better, you don’t have to assume your partner knows what you want, because you talked about is. Sometimes it work, but sometimes even this is not enough…

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 28

Good day friends,

Over the next few weeks, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions – Part 2

“We create a lot of emotional poison just by making assumptions and taking it personally, because usually we start gossiping about our assumptions. Remember, gossiping is the way we communicate to each other in the dream of hell and transfer poison to one another. Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering.

The big mitote in the human mind creates a lot of chaos which causes us to misinterpret everything and misunderstand everything. We only see what we want to see, and hear what we want to hear. We don’t perceive things the way they are. We have a the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality. We literally dream things up in our imaginations. Because we don’t understand something, we make an assumption about the meaning, and when the truth comes out, the bubble of our dream pops and we find out it was not what we thought it was at all.

An example: You are walking in the mall, and you see a person you like. That person turns to you and smiles, and then walks away. You can make a lot of assumptions just because of this one experience. With these assumptions you can create a whole fantasy. And you really want to believe this fantasy and make it real. A whole dream begins to form just from your assumptions, and you can believe, “Oh, this person really likes me.” In your mind a whole relationship begins from that. Maybe you even get married in this fantasyland. But the fantasy is in your mind, in your personal dream.”

Don Miguel Ruiz

Oh my goodness while I read this and also again now typing it I can relate. As a teenager I had this huge crush on a boy. He was one of the popular boys and I was very shy at that time. I met him once in person at a friends birthday party and she introduced us. We talked and from that day on he would greet and smile at me when we see each other at school. I tried to keep it cool but in my head I was making up these stories of us being a couple and going out to parties. Not long after he had a steady girlfriend and my heart was broken. He still greeted and smiled at me whenever he saw me. Only now do I realize that from a young age we are making assumptions that lead to disappointment and heartache.

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 27

Good day friends,

Over the next few weeks, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions – Part 1

“The Third Agreement is Don’t make Assumptions.

We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking – we take it personally – then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.

All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally. Take a moment to consider the truth of this statement. The whole war of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally. Our whole dream of hell is based on that.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Well what can I say. I am guilty. I think I have the power to read peoples minds. I think I know what they are thinking. I think I know what they are doing behind close doors. Oh my word I am soooo guilty of making assumptions.

Be honest with yourself have you ever look at your partner and assumed what he or she was thinking or planning and then you pick a fight and make a whole unpleasant thing out of what you thought they were thinking or planning… Meanwhile you made it up all in your mind….

The lesson to learn is spare yourself a lot of pain and unpleasantness by NOT MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 26

Good day friends,

Over the next few weeks, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally – Part 5

“When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many upsets in your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don’t take things personally.

If you can make the second agreement a habit, you will find that nothing can put you back into hell. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. You become immune to black magicians, and no spell can affect you regardless of how strong it may be. The whole world can gossip about you, and if you don’t take it personally you are immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you don’t take the emotional poison, it becomes even worse in the sender, but not in you.

You can see how important this agreement is. Taking nothing personally helps you to break many habits and routines that trap you in the dream of hell and cause needless suffering. Just by practicing this second agreement you begin to break dozens of teeny, tiny agreements that cause you to suffer.

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

I know it is very difficult not to take things personally, but we have to try. When we fail to do so today, then we try again tomorrow…..

Next week we start with the Third Agreement – Don’t make Assumptions

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and grateful.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 25

Good day friends,

I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally – Part 4

“Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. Humans are addicted to suffering at different levels and to different degrees, and we support each other in maintaining these addictions. Humans agree to help each other suffer. If you have the need to be abused, you will find it easy to be abused by others. Likewise, if you are with people who need to suffer, something in you makes you abuse them. It is as if they have a note on their back tat says, “Please kick me.” They are asking for justification for their suffering. Their addiction to suffering is nothing but an agreement that is reinforced every day.

Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves. You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.

When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid. They are you will discover that they are not perfect. It is painful to take that social mask off. If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don’t listen to their actions. But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain. Telling yourself the truth about it may hurt, but you don’t need to be attached to the pain. Healing is on the way, and it’s just a matter of time before things will be better for you.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

How many of us are really truthful with ourselves? We are all afraid to get hurt and we would do anything to protect ourselves.

Let’s all try for one day to be truthful to ourselves and others, no matter how hard it might be.

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 24

Good day friends,

Over the next few weeks, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally Part 3

“Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful. Don’t take anything personally. Even if someone got a gun and shot you in the head, it was nothing personal. Even at that extreme.

Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally. The mind has the ability to talk to itself, but it also has the ability to hear information that is available from other realms. Sometimes you hear a voice in your mind, and you may wonder where it came from. This voice may have come from another reality in which there are living beings very similar to the human mind. The Toltecs called these beings Allies. In Europe, Africa, and India they called them the Gods.

Our mind also exist in the level of the Gods. Our mind also lives in that reality and can perceive that reality. The mind sees with the eyes and perceives this waking reality. But the mind also sees and perceives without the eyes, although the reason is hardly aware of this perception. There may be times when you have ideas that don’t originate in your mind, but you are perceiving them with your mind. You have the right to believe or not believe these voices and the right not to take what they say personally. We have a choice whether or not to believe the voices we hear within our own minds, just as we have a choice of what to believe and agree with in the dream of the planet.

The mind can also talk and listen to itself. The mind is divided as your body is divided. Just as you can say, “I have one hand, and I can shake my other hand and feel the other hand,” the mind can talk to itself. Part of the mind is speaking, and the other part is listening. It is a big problem when a thousand parts of your mind are all speaking at the same time. This is called a mitote, remember?

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and think positive thoughts.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen

The Four Agreements: Part 23

Good day friends,

Over the next few weeks, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days  I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.

The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally: Part 2

“When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little, because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong. You also try hard to be right by giving them your own opinions. In the same way, whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own personal dream, a reflection of your own agreements. What you say, what you do, and the opinions you have are according to the agreements you have made – and these opinions have nothing to do with me.

It is not important to me what you think about me, and I don’t take what you think personally. I don’t take it personally when people say, “Miguel, you are the best,” and I also don’t take it personally when they say, “Miguel, you are the worst.” I know that when you are happy you will tell me, “Miguel, you are such an angel!” But, when you are mad at me you will say, “Oh, Miguel, you are such a devil! You are so disgusting. How can you say those things?” Either way, it does not affect me because I know what I am. I don’t have the need to be accepted. I don’t have the need to have someone tell me, “Miguel, you are doing so good!” or “How dare you do that!”

No, I don’t take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world. It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

I think the author explained how to not take anything personally very good. Now all we have to do is to start incorporating it in our everyday life.

Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.

Stay safe and grateful.

Have a Blessed day.

Coreen