Good day friends,
Over the next few weeks, I am reading, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some days I will Quote a page or just give you a summary of what I read and how I understand it. I am just an ordinary person, and I find it interesting how different people and cultures see the world. This is not based on any typical religion. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. Please keep an open mind.
The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions – Part 3
“Making assumptions in our relationships is really asking for problems. Often we make the assumption that our partners know what we think and that w don’t have to say what we want. We assume they are going to do what we want, because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we assume they should do, we feel so hurt and say, “You should have known.”
Another example: You decide to get married, and you make the assumption that your partner sees marriage the same way you do. Then you live together and you find out this is not true. This creates a lot of conflict, but you still don’t try to clarify your feelings about marriage. The husband comes home from work and the wife is mad, and the husband doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because the wife made an assumption. Without telling him what she wants, she makes an assumption that he knows her so well, that he knows what she wants, as if he can read her mind. She gets so upset because he fails to meet her expectations. Making assumptions in relationships leads to a lot of fights, a lot of difficulties, a lot of misunderstandings with people we supposedly love.
In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we want. They are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they don’t do what we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt and think, “How could you do that? You should know.” Again we make the assumption that the other person knows what we want. A whole drama is created because we make this assumption and then put more assumptions on top of it.”Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
Oh my word today’s piece really hits the nail on the head. I assumed my partner knew what I want out of the relationship, I got hurt, felt rejected and not important to him. I bought The Four Agreements and when I read this part I decided to put my list of what I need to make the relationship work on paper for my partner.
If you tell your partner what you want out of your relationship it makes things better, you don’t have to assume your partner knows what you want, because you talked about is. Sometimes it work, but sometimes even this is not enough…
Thank you with all my heart for stopping by. Thank you for your continued support. I am truly grateful for every view, like, follow and comment.
Stay safe and think positive thoughts.
Have a Blessed day.