5 Years….

5 Years ago at 12:15 AM I got a phonecall that my mother has passed away. Normally I don’t post about this, but today I am going outside my comfort zone.

Don’t get me wrong I miss my mother each day and somedays more than others.

This morning I woke up, my fiancé and I made breakfast and I took my dads breakfast to him.

The routine each morning is coffee, porridge, yogurt and his medication. Then I write down the date, time and what he had for breakfast.

When I wrote 10/10/2020 something broke in me. I had to fight so hard not to start crying. I made sure dad drank his medication so that I can get out of there. My breakfast tasted like straw. I was battling to keep my emotions under control.

I walked pass the photo of my mom laughing in the passage and the tears came running down my cheeks. Somehow I got to my bed and sat down.

My fiancé came into the room and he saw me. He asked me what’s going on. He saw that when I came back from dad’s flat something was not right. I could hardly utter the words that it’s 5 years.

I had to work today, but I didn’t feel like editing at all. We then decided to start on our vegetable and herb gardens… Photos will follow as soon as its complete.

My mother loved butterflies and since she passed I have butterflies in my garden. Today one came and sit next to me while I was busy in the garden. I always said it’s my mom. When I see one.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.


15 thoughts on “5 Years….

    1. Sorry to read about your loss. It’s very difficult but you will cope. I burn a candle for my mother on all the special days. Our first Christmas was very tough. I bought her gift before she passed away. Now I hang it as a Christmas ornament on my tree every year….

  1. Good tribute to you Mom to remember her, even though it hurts. As we get older, the loss of loved ones seems to speed up. I lost my Mom when I was 21 and my Dad when I was 32. Now, at 66, I lost two uncles in one month. As they say, Old age is weddings and funerals. It is always a good year when weddings outnumber funerals. Stay well Coreen. Allan

  2. time passes…but we understand memories of them, of our beloved parents, never pass… everything as they left us… 5 or 10 or more… never being passed in our own world. I can almost understand you dear Coreen, and I do believe some of signs as butterflies too… This is so nice… And you did a wonderful tribute for her… Stay well and strong with the memories… Love, nia